Memory Lane (1980-1990)

PLAYING HOUSE
Am i trying too hard
to satisfy you
in this new role
that i have taken on?
or is it my perception
of what i am supposed to be
to please me
to please you?

So, what will happen
when this June and Harriet facade
falls away
and i become
myself again?
Or is this really who i am?


MARGO
I was not so very surprised
when you telephoned last night
it was one of those nights
when i was feeling lonely for
my past while living in my present
and hoping for my future.

You were so very precise
while you read your latest
pieces of prose
i could have sworn
i saw you standing
on the backporch
dressed in black
while the snow swirled around
your ankles
and the smoke from your cigarette
trailed into the night sky.

Child of the darkness
and I was matron of the pitch.
What a bitch it was

still is
that i spent so much of my time
with Ronnie in the shack
in the back of the house
with the snow swirling
and the dark girl
writing
about her soul
heaven knows

it was you all along
who brought me
to the awareness
of pain and constant
analysis.
We could have been sisters
if we hadn't been
from separate solar systems
leaving trails of words written
like so many comets!
we pass each others worlds
every few years.

And you know me
And i know you!
And we both have our mirrors
to bring us joy and horror
at what we could be
and what we are
For one so young
you have taught me
so much
Your wisdom shines
in the madness
that we breath
every day
of our lives.


SOMETIMES A PRISONER
I hurt you
you hurt me
and then
we make love
or fuck!
or whatever you call it
and i love you even more.

This is so hard to get used to.,
living with you and role defining.

For crying out loud
do you think i enjoy my current state of mind?

i breath you
i hold you
i touch you,
and i am wild with and without you
so what do i do now?

love has never
tasted so sweet
the sweat
of compassion
of passion
to the point
i swoon
in your embrace
and i lie powerless
under your prowess
the lion
has tamed
somewhat
i lick
my paw
in contentment

darling
you have
properly
removed a thorn
with patience
so steady
i cannot balance

UNTITLED

why is it
that everytime
i desire quiet
that i cannot
quell the yelling
inside
and i create
more around me
by being who
what is the use
of screaming
outloud
when you can
become
a raging
cacophony
dissent
within
and burn
all the
in anger
and frustration
spiral
spiral
downward
downward
the drain

THE DREAM
In my dream
I felt you
Holding me - the way you do
Touching me - the way you do
Watching me - the way you do
Making me a part of you
Possession of my body
Possession of my mind
Possession of my love

In my dream
I felt my thighs clench
My stomach tighten
My breast ache
In anticipation of you.
The scent, surrounds us, heady, sweet sweat
I lick the droplets from your chin,
stubble nicking my lips
Intoxicating
A liquor, if you will,
I thirst
a thirst only you can quench

In my dream
You are sustaining me
Until the touch of your fingers
Across my brow
Wakes me from our parting.